Updates!

Hello hello!

I've just returned from Africa where I was part of the documentary film crew for a feature on the Africa Yoga Project. It was amazing and hard work and transformational and inspiring... more on that soon.

The big news is that the LOVE YOUR BODY yoga workshop hosted by Grace Yoga will be postponed until a later date.

I did have a healthy trip but did return home with a little "bug" that is demanding that I rest.

Still, stay tuned for the LOVE YOUR BODY weekend program to be rescheduled soon.

love and peace,
Lauren

"Every Woman Has An Eating Disorder"

Last week I had the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Stacey, a clinical psychologist based in New York City.

She's well known in the recovery field for her work with patients and known in the blogosphere because of her blog titled, "Every Woman Has An Eating Disorder."

She intends to write a book of the same title, which hopefully will shed even more light on the causes of and recovery from eating disorders and disordered eating.

As we chatted, it was clear that even though she considers the idea that "every woman has an eating disorder" to be somewhat hyperbolic, she does contend that nearly all women have some issues around food and/or body image and/or exercise.

As for the causes of ED, Dr. Stacey pointed out that women are often judged on their appearances more than men and are more likely to be compared to and defined by the cultural weight/body ideal.

No doubt she believes the media has a lot to do with the proliferation of eating disorders (clinical and sub-clinical).


"You can't pick up a magazine without seeing some commentary on weight," she said.

Dr. Stacey's clinical work in NYC focuses on groups and individual therapy, though she believes that groups are one of the most effective treatment methods.

One of her approaches is a lunch-time group, which she leads in private practice and at Columbia University Medical Center, where participants spend the first half of their time together eating a balanced meal. The second half of the session is a time for processing the meal and their reactions a safeenvironment.

She highlights the "team approach" to recovery treatment, too, where a nutritionist, psychologist, and internist/psychiatrist work together with a patient to restore health.

Dr. Stacey is obviously invested in the recovery of her patients and affecting change on a larger scale. She cites friends' experiences with eating disorders as sparking her interest in psychology and recovery.

As for her own experience, she said, "I'm subjected to the same pressures as everyone else."


So what do you think? Does EVERY woman have an eating disorder? Would love to hear thoughts.

Be sure to read Dr. Stacey's insightful and inspiring blog!

The Girl at Target with Little Debbie Snacks

Yesterday on the way to the gym I went to Target to get decent headphones for my brand new ipod. I have never had any form of mp3 player, so this is an exciting day. I'm actually only using it right now for this visualization CD I'm listening to.

In three months, if all goes according to plan, I will unveil the results of said visualizations and let you all know about it!

So there I am, in a super Target that has tons of food, etc, and I see this thin girl with dark circles under her eyes wearing a hugely baggy sweatshirt and she just looks exhausted.

Under her arm is a jumbo sized box of Little Debbie snacks. Maybe oatmeal cookie sandwiches?

Anyway, I knew immediately what was up. In about 5 minutes she'd be out in the parking lot ripping into bag after bag of Little Debbies.

Dude, I've been there.

And Target might not be her last stop.

Anyway, I reach down in my purse, because I'm right behind her (there were only a few lines open) and think, "Maybe I should smile and slip her my Captivating Life business card?"

But then I didn't. What if she just has a lot of kids? Or is taking snacks to a meeting?

And then I noticed she was also getting some gel medicine for mouth sores...

Yikes. Pretty much nailed it. She's bulimic- no doubt.

But I still didn't give her my card. And I'm still wondering: Did I do the right thing? How do we know if we should interfere or not? Especially with a stranger? Maybe the card was the lifeline she needed? Or maybe she'd throw it back in my face?

I wish I could have that moment back again. I think I would take the chance.

Why Bulimics Need to Get Rid of To Do Lists

Now, from the title of this post, you might be a little flummoxed-- why would functioning people want to deep six the very things that help them Get Things Done??

Well, I've heard it said that if you give a bulimic an assignment, it's going to be done to the "nth" degree. The same is probably true of anorexics. Not to generalize (but ok, I'm going to generalize), bulimics are typically huge people pleasers and can't say no.

Anorexics (again, generally) have pretty type A personalities-- they're going to turn in the assignment completed like a week before the deadline and possibly even stress about it every moment until it's done.


Yeah, so give a girl with an ED an assignment, and she's going to nail it. They make great committee heads and are masters of Getting Things Done.

But just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you should.

This week has been a pretty interesting reminder to me of that principle.

Sometimes it's what we start letting go of in our lives that makes the big difference.

Think about the self-improvement path: we read more books, go to more workshops, buy more tools that will help us become better, right?

But what if you did what I call "flying solo?"

You know, go your own way (like the Fleetwood Mac song)!

Maybe what you need is to NOT have any assignments, NOT have anything on that "self-improvement to do list," NOT say "once I get THERE, then I'll....."

get it?

All you have (and all you are) IS all you need.

This week I was taking a coaching class where we were talking about goal setting and creating action. I had something on my To Do list that I wanted to get done. And our assignment was NOT to do it.

And you know what? I got SO pissed off!

How dare she tell me not to do something that is going to help my productivity and my business. Obviously, she hit on something big-- wherever there is strong emotion, there's usually some "story" attached.

Anyway, I DID go to the store and tick that errand off my list and happily got on my productive way.

BUT, her concept-- of letting things just BE. instead of always DOING. well, that's stuck with me.


This week, I'm going to try to chill in BE mode instead of DO mode a little bit more.


yay.

Q and A with Kate Bruno

Hi! this is the first in a series of Q & A with amazing women in the eating disorder recovery field.

So, I'm pleased to introduce Kate Bruno.

Kate is the owner of On Track Nutrition and Fitness Consulting.

She is also one of the first people who really made a difference for my own recovery. In her group Body Image workshops, she facilitated a new appreciation for my body and my recovery. Through her groups I also met other amazing women who encouraged, listened and laughed as we moved from self-destructive to self-loving.

Here is our interview!

1. Do you believe in complete recovery from ED? Or do think that it's an issue people will deal with for a lifetime?

I emphatically believe in full recovery because of my own personal experience, but I do know that many people will experience partial recovery (ie: normal behaviors but not get to a place of complete unconditional self-love, etc) & some will stop there & assume recovery is as good as it can be.

2. What are the top 3 factors (in your opinion) that contribute to ED?

I'd have to say genetics, perfectionism, and self-esteem.

3. What methods (in your experience) have proven most effective in successful recovery?

In terms of treatment I would say building an honest, open, secure connection with the support system is critical, there are so many different metods of treating ED's & I have never found 1 style to fit all recovery needs.

I think what's critical is figuring out what makes each individual "tick", what's important to them, etc -- it's most useful if you can find a way to make recovery feel powerful & filled with passion/excitement for them as opposed to fear.

4. What do you wish more people knew about ED and recovery?

That it's not a surface issue even if it feels/looks that way at times, that recovery is a long & winding road & after behavioral/weight recovery there is so much more to do emotionally which is often overlooked or assumed to be "resolved" just because they appear to be healthier.

That full recovery requires a big leap of faith & a willingness to push your way through & embrace all that which was once the most fearful & threatening to the ED.

And that recovery is full of beauty, joy, confidence, reward, and security (something with permanent & lasting effects that the temporary appeasement of the ED could never match).

5. What does self-care look like for you?

Balance & moderation in all things, unconditional self-love & flexibility with expectations, patience & compassion with myself & others, and just living in the moment & doing what feels right while maintaining a practical sense about life & all it's twists.

6. Who (or what) inspires you?

All my clients who have embraced recovery so fully & completely without looking back -- it's so much harder to choose recovery, open your world up, & stay true to who you really are than it is to stay sick.

7. What's your favorite book/author? Favorite music? Favorite place?

Good question -- I'd have to say most of my reading has been recovery related so I like Geneene Roth, Stephen Levenkron, Ira Sacker, etc.

My favorite movie is Meet The Parents though -- I'm a comedy freak!

Music has been a big part of me & my recovery process -- I met my husband when he was on stage performing with his band.

I like Tonic, Train, Vertical Horizon, Matchbox 20, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Sarah Bareilles, Dar Williams, KT Tunstall, Stir, Sister Hazel, Toad The Wet Sproket, etc -- too many to list for sure!

My favorite place is either my home, Cinque Terre in Italy, or The Myan Riviera in Mexico (where I had my honeymoon)

Feeling really down???

I was having a conversation last night with one of my best friends/colleagues/shining lights named Catherine Garceau.

We were talking about how the whole binge/purge/starve/distorted body image cycle can be very very self-centered.

Think about it:

You (the collective you!) spend hours a day with your mind and emotions engaged in what you are eating, what you are not eating, or what you will or will not eat.

And then you look at yourself in the mirror and ruminate about your thighs, your belly, your arms, your cheeks, your whatever.

Then you get upset with yourself about your behavior towards yourself.

It's all wrapped up in YOU (or rather, your ego).

"WAIT," you say! "But I actually do care about other people!"

I'm sure you do.

Some of the most compassionate, giving, empathetic people I have ever met suffer or have recovered from eating disorders. (haha, this idea is somewhat self serving!)

There's no doubt in my mind that many ED women (and men too) have a special gift for relating to other people.


Still, in the midst of ED-land, you're sometimes so self-focused that it can be especially hard to drag yourself out of that muck and mire.

So what is the antidote?

It's actually amazingly simple.

Give.

Freely.

Of yourself and your time.

To people who are less fortunate than you.



Yesterday I went to a facility that houses mentally (and otherwise) handicapped people. We helped them celebrate the February birthdays with cake and candles, birthday hats and balloons, and hugs and BINGO!

I met Theresa and Eunice, Walter and William, Howard and Sue Ellen and so many more... simple people who are truly loving.

It was amazing to see how they embraced life and total strangers who came to spend time with them.

And it confirmed that giving of yourself shifts perspective like nothing else, and you might even make a few friends.

I challenge you to try it!

See what happens- dare to let your Self take a back seat to someone who really needs your love and attention.

LOVE,
lauren

The Rat Hotel

I was reading this great article in O magazine (I know, I know- some people legitimately think Oprah is the anti-christ while others think she's an oracle of wisdom or a one way ticket to success-ville).

Anyway, the article was by Martha Beck her resident life coach. And it was the story of the Rat Hotel (that's what I call it).

So here it is:

This researcher built a Rat Hotel with all the finer things that rats would need to be happy, nourished, and able to procreate according to their biological instincts.

In other words- the rats had more than what they needed for survival. They didn't lead stressful lives but they weren't lounging around in the lap of luxury like gluttonous pig-rats either.

And then the gave the rats a choice:

Regular, pure water

OR

Morphine-laced water

Which do you think the rats chose?? Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that some of the rodent residents of the Rat Hotel were former morphine addicts....

NOW which do you think they chose?????


By and large, the rats drank the regular water. (yeah, I was surprised too.)

And one more part of the experiment. He put some other rats not in a Rat Hotel but in cages- wire nasty boxes where they had to live. And guess which water those rats drank?

You got it: morphine water.

What does this mean for humans? Specifically girl humans who may have had an ED (or still have one)?

Basically this: when we take care of our needs as they should be taken care of, we don't actually need the "morphine." (N0w, substitute your fave destructive coping mechanism/habit in place of morphine.)

Get it?

If you've got an eating disorder, an addiction, a destructive habit that keeps you from living your best life, then get out of the cage.

As you (we) take steps toward creating our own Rat Hotels, the need for the morphine is going to subside.


Rat food for thought.